[FRIAM] Today's Sermon:: a minor awokening

[Steve Smith]

Nick -

I think I read /Watchmen/ decades ago... it is a good addition to my
reading list with Mary (she has mentioned it recently)... we read books
together (how quaint).   Right now we are on Victor Klemperer's diaries
from the Nazi years in Germany as a Jewish man married to an Aryan
woman, and the slow erosion and decline of their circumstances, his
rights, and hers by association (in a time/culture where the man of the
family had primary status, and  yet the Aryan of the family had higher
status in many ways).   It is heartbreaking and very cautionary as we
watch the norms of a society get eroded away on one side as a subset of
ruthless and ambitious characters seduce and intimidate the populace
into normalizing pretty marginalizing (and ultimately brutal) behaviour
of one segment of population against the other.  Spoiler alert - the
time-period is 1934-1944 so you can guess "how it turns out".

Other (re)reads have included Moby Dick, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle
Maintenance, The Woman at Otowi Bridge (Edith Warner), a biography of
Maria Martinez (potter), the biography of Mabel Dodge-Luhan.   Not only
do these books read differently the second time around (decades later)
but in the light of a new (2+ years) partner whose backround and
perspective is radically different.   Mary is much more attuned to the
Civil Rights issues than I... she grew up in her own version of remote
(a tiny college town, Chadron NE near the Pine Ridge Rez) with a mother
who was a strong civic member and Democrat amongst mostly Republican
farm/ranch folks... her father was probably a Republican if he voted...
her brothers all rode to Sturgis, voted for Trump and are likely to
again, etc.   but/and she loves them, even if she won't speak her mind
openly on those topics with them.  

My sister who dated her African American friend for a time is now in her
mid-60's asking her children, my children and even Mary and I for
"something she can read to understand 'all that'"...  She and her
husband voted for Trump but probably won't again, and in her defense,
lived out-of-country in Spain and Chile for most of their adult lives,
as part of the colonialism of American Mining interests overseas.  A
previous boyfriend was of a Mexican-American family in the border town
whose circumstance and status was somewhat higher than our own...  most
of the merchant and professional class were the grandchildren of
Mexicans who lived there when it *was* Mexico (pre Gadsden Purchase).  
My parents had a similar (though more muted) reaction to him... that
surprised me as well since well over half of our friends and classmates 
from 1st Grade has Spanish surnames.   They may have also questioned her
more Anglo-Normative boyfriends along the way, maybe they were just
overprotective?

Rattling on about my sister and her family, they volunteer with Central
American refugees in Tucson because they are both fluent in Spanish and
just in the last year acknowledged that maybe Global Warming was real
AND anthropogenic and maybe they should try to recycle or carpool or
something (snarky, sorry)...so there is hope... 

Yes to "context and perspective"...

- Steve

On 9/5/20 3:27 PM, thompnickson2 at gmail.com wrote:
>
> Steve,
>
>  
>
> Your story, like so many of your stories, cuts to the heart.  If you
> haven’t already, I recommend you read /Go Call a Watchmen, /the
> pre-written sequel to /To Kill a Mockingbird, /in which Scout
> discovers that, at least from seen from a Northern perspective, is
> actually a flaming racist.  That perspective thing, as Glen keeps
> reminding me, is so important.  I would love to know what you (-all)
> think of that book.
>
>  
>
> Nick
>
>  
>
>  
>
>  
>
>  
>
> Nicholas Thompson
>
> Emeritus Professor of Ethology and Psychology
>
> Clark University
>
> ThompNickSon2 at gmail.com <mailto:ThompNickSon2 at gmail.com>
>
> https://wordpress.clarku.edu/nthompson/
>
>  
>
>  
>
> *From:* Friam <friam-bounces at redfish.com> *On Behalf Of *Steve Smith
> *Sent:* Saturday, September 5, 2020 1:27 PM
> *To:* friam at redfish.com
> *Subject:* Re: [FRIAM] Today's Sermon:: a minor awokening
>
>  
>
> Nick -
>
> I think I may well know the man of whom you speak... he is in my
> "second order circle" so I only see him while visiting certain friends
> or at events we all share or the occasional criss-cross in a public
> venue.   I will try to remember to ask him if he remembers YOU...  
> question is which stereotype might I appeal to to describe you to
> him?   I won't speculate on what forms that might take as I explore my
> own stereotypes, or worse yet, my projections of what *his*
> stereotypes of you might be.     If we are talking about the same
> person I doubt he would have "avoided you"... he has been fairly
> politely blunt with me a few times and then resumed the jovial
> conversations we were having.   He seemed very practiced at navigating
> (not so) hidden judgements and assumptions about him.
>
> My own mother had a modest amount of self-awareness, growing up in KY
> fairly proud of being a "Yankee" in the sense of north of the
> Mason-Dixon and from a subculture that was too poor to have ever
> risked owning a slave or having a close relative who did.  She lived
> with her aunt in the city of Frankfort during the school year in the
> depression for lots of reasons.   She was therefore raised as an only
> child, her cousins having recently grown and moved out of the family
> home.   She tells an anecdote of having developed a friendship with a
> girl who lived *somewhere* between *her school* and her aunt's
> house... she would pause to play with her every day after school until
> it got to where she started being noticeably late home... when she
> told her aunt why she was late, she said "why don't you just invite
> your friend home next time and you can play here!"...  she asked her
> friend who resisted for about a week and then finally came home (her
> aunt married a Scottish Doctor, so their home was very meticulous and
> in a nicer neighborhood, but they lived crazy-frugal anyway) and after
> the first day, her aunt very politely told her not to invite the
> friend back, and in fact, was forbidden to play with her anymore.  
> The little girl was apparently the first black person she had ever met
> and it was years later that she guessed that that was what it was all
> about...   her aunt was too "polite" to make a deal about it and too
> "authoritarian" to be questioned.    Later her mother gave her a
> family heirloom which was referred to colloquially as a "tar baby"
> which her mother explained to her had been a type of doll that young
> girls were given to "play with" in the style and memory of how their
> ancestors had been allowed to "play with" the slave babies.   Her
> mother explained how wrong *all* of it was, from the slavery to the
> treating even the babies as property, to replacing them
> post-emancipation with effigies, etc.   I learned this when she was
> unpacking from one of our moves and it showed up in a cardboard barrel
> amongst her mother's (our aunt's) china that we never used...  my
> sister saw it and was intrigued and "wanted to play with it" whereupon
> my mother tried to explain all of this to us and then declaring that
> "the best thing I can do is get rid of it, it is just a reflection of
> a bad piece of history".   I don't know if it went in the burn barrel
> with our other trash or if she figured out some more respectful
> disposal method... I would like to think she knew of a historian or
> similar for whom such an artifact could be made meaningful.   This and
> other similar instances made me think that my parents were the least
> prejudiced people I knew, until at 19 my sister who had a small group
> of friends from college, one of who was African American...  my
> parents liked him a lot, he was a very sociable and interesting person
> (his father was career military and his mother had died when he was
> young and he and two sisters were raised by "help").   But at some
> point, the friendship drifted into the boyfriend zone and they very
> sternly, albeit embarrassingly disabused me of the thought that they
> were not prejudiced.   I don't remember the exact conversations but it
> was clear that they were very much against the relationship, even if
> they didn't quite try to forbid their (adult) daughter from
> continuing.   I think they even enlisted one of their (more openly)
> racist friends to have a conversation with her.  It did not sit well
> at all with me.  But made me realize how hidden some of these
> judgements, stereotypes, opinions, etc can be.   I'm sure I'm laced
> with junk like that.
>
> - Steve
>
>     Dear fellow congregants,
>
>      
>
>     One of the things we talk about is our bemusement at Trump
>     supporters.  One expression you often hear these supporters say is
>     that they admire him because “He tells it like it is!”  They can
>     say this while acknowledging  that almost everything he says is
>     false.  So, if he is lying most of the time, what is he telling
>     the truth about?
>
>      
>
>     I think I know.  As I keep insisting, I am not a boomer.  I am
>     from the Silent Generation, the Lonely Crowd.  My mother’s life
>     hero was Eleanor Roosevelt.  It was I, aged seven, who brought the
>     news of the President’s death to my parents, and I was startled to
>     seem my mother burst into tears.  Crying was not her thing.  My
>     folks were publishers. We had black, Jewish, gay, lesbian, working
>     class, authors visiting the house.  But – and here is the point –
>     when they visited, they visited /as such./  Not that I was told as
>     a child explicitly, but it was conveyed to me as a child, somehow,
>     that these folks belonged to a different category.  And my
>     education, in Massachusetts, in the 40’s, was devoid of any
>     explicit contact with anybody in any of these categories.
>
>      
>
>     Ok, fast forward 70 years to Santa Fe.  I befriend at Ohoris an
>     extremely tall black man, grizzled, slow moving, thoughtful, with
>     an intricate, international biography full of remarkable
>     connections and coincidences.  He fits in every conceivable way my
>     childhood stereotype of the “old wise black man”.  I sit in rapt
>     attention to his stories. I look up to him, which, given his
>     height, is my only choice. But, as we continue to meet, a tension
>     begins to rise between us that is coming largely from me, but I
>     cannot control.  He becomes aware that I am seeing him through the
>     stereotype of  the old wise black man.  Because I cannot admit to
>     it, he is imprisoned by it.  /Our conversations are based on a
>     lie./  He disappears from Ohoris and I never see him again.  He
>     would rather eschew good coffee, than live in my lie. 
>
>      
>
>     This is what Donald Trump is truthful about.  He tells the truth
>     about his own stereotypes.  He is truthful about himself.  That
>     what he believes is FALSE is irrelevant to his base.  He admits to
>     thoughts which they know many others find distasteful.  It is hard
>     to live in a world which has moved on from one’s childhood, a
>     world in which others find one’s basic categorizations distasteful
>     – in fact, a world in which one finds one’s own basic
>     categorizations distasteful. 
>
>      
>
>     To break Trump we need to come to a new understanding and
>     acknowledgement of type-isms.  There are always going to be
>     type-isms.  We human beings do that sort of thing.  Raised in a
>     particular way, at a particular time I see a tall grizzled black
>     man as wise, and everything he says and does is read through that
>     lens.  That’s abduction.  This person wears a dress, this person
>     is a woman, this person is gentle, that ‘s abduction.  (Well, it’s
>     abduction-deduction, but let that go.)  Human beings naturally
>     form identity groups that trap ourselves and others in false
>     abductions.  So we need to design our society to counter these.
>     (Libertarians beware.  Here come Nick’s white vans, again)  In
>     this case the white van takes the form of aggressive  taxation of
>     the rich and aggressive education of the poor, and of institutions
>     that promote the random mixing of our citizens (like public
>     universities and armies – or conservation corps).  
>
>      
>
>     Could my friendship with the tall black guy have been rescued? 
>     Could we have laughed about my stereotypes?  Perhaps I should have
>     said, early on, “Look, I’m sorry, I keep seeing you  as Uncle
>     Remus.  I am sure, as I get to know you better, I will get over
>     it.  Please be patient with me, and please call me out whenever
>     you feel confined by it. ” 
>
>      
>
>     A Liberalism that does not free me is not worth the name.
>
>      
>
>     Nick
>
>     Nicholas Thompson
>
>     Emeritus Professor of Ethology and Psychology
>
>     Clark University
>
>     ThompNickSon2 at gmail.com <mailto:ThompNickSon2 at gmail.com>
>
>     https://wordpress.clarku.edu/nthompson/
>
>      
>
>      
>
>
>
>     - .... . -..-. . -. -.. -..-. .. ... -..-. .... . .-. .
>
>     FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv
>
>     Zoom Fridays 9:30a-12p Mtn GMT-6  bit.ly/virtualfriam
>
>     un/subscribe http://redfish.com/mailman/listinfo/friam_redfish.com
>
>     archives: http://friam.471366.n2.nabble.com/
>
>     FRIAM-COMIC http://friam-comic.blogspot.com/ 
>
>
> - .... . -..-. . -. -.. -..-. .. ... -..-. .... . .-. .
> FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv
> Zoom Fridays 9:30a-12p Mtn GMT-6  bit.ly/virtualfriam
> un/subscribe http://redfish.com/mailman/listinfo/friam_redfish.com
> archives: http://friam.471366.n2.nabble.com/
> FRIAM-COMIC http://friam-comic.blogspot.com/ 
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://redfish.com/pipermail/friam_redfish.com/attachments/20200905/7718eefe/attachment.html>