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<div class="moz-cite-prefix">On 11/9/24 9:06 AM, Marcus Daniels
wrote:<br>
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<p class="qt-msonormal1"><span style="font-size:11.0pt">Someone
I know decided to legally change their name (not their
gender) when they were relatively young. Their family
(young and old) simply refused to respect this change, and
to this day continues to use their given name. It’s
malicious and I see it causes pain. It seems to me the
discomfort with trans people in part comes from refusing to
revise knowledge and let people that wish to divorce aspects
of the past. I am not sure whether this is a preference or
a cognitive limitation of the people that do it. I think
some of both. </span></p>
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<p>And I know (of) several people who have entirely turned their
backs on their families of origin, sometimes just on their
parents, other times on specific siblings, and other times the
entire nuclear family-of-origin. <br>
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<p>In most cases, as best I can tell, this was not over any singular
incident or grievance but in fact a pattern of the group entirely
denying the reality of the individual? <br>
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<p>It seems more rare for an individual to be excommunicated from
the (family) group entirely, just avoided/shunned somewhat (e.g.
Q/MAGA-ranting uncle given the wrong time for T-day dinner so
those who want to leave early can avoid him entirely). I
suspect those who extracted themselves from the toxicity of their
family-of-origin so completely knew something the rest of the
group was willfully ignorant of about themselves. <br>
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<p>I've been "threatened" by others' self-image/identity before...
sometimes because it is a belligerent, threatening identity (e.g.
EricS's "performative cruelty" admonition), and sometimes because
it reflects back to me something about myself I don't want to see
(including possible streaks of "performative cruelty"). But in
the long run, I think it has provided me with some reflective
guidance on "who *I* want to be" (whatever that agentic-free-will
concept grounds to). <br>
</p>
<p>The current fetish for (toxic-levels) of alpha-masculinity
(Trump/Rogan/Musk weird-energy-triumvirate?) seem to be
(everything) phobic... I have ideated on each of their brands of
"success" (wealth, power, influence, physical prowess) and even
obtained little-fish/big-puddle quantities from time to time, but
fundamentally it did not satisfy (or maybe the grapes were just
sour?). <br>
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