[FRIAM] quotes and questions

[Steve Smith]

I think I agree with both of you.

As Mary and I navigate our way through our great European Vacation, we 
are both learning how to "read" public transportation, etc.   Since she 
is much more able to hoof arbitrarily long distances with minimal 
comfort, a 2km hike to get from one terminal of public transport to 
another is within her idea of "an OK time" while I reserve that as "a 
desperate measure".    She is much more sensitive to cold/wet/wind than 
I am, so a 200M schlep becomes intolerable for her while I would do it 
in my t-shirt and sandals.

We are both, by nature, not particularly argumentative, disagreeable or 
critical of others (my ramblings here may seem otherwise?) but I 
understand Glen's point.  I am much more spatially comfortable than Mary 
and am left with the task of sussing out "the best way to get from point 
A to point B at any given time under any given circumstances", but 
because I feel I am too often a dismal failure with what feels to me to 
be an exotic (if not dysfunctional) system with consequences to her 
(causing us to have to hike 2km in cold windy wet) I have begun 
articulating my best guess of the A->B strategy I have arrived at, not 
because I expect her to provide significant critique or even insight 
into my ideation, but rather because A) I want her to buy in to the 
risks involved; B) I think she *might* recognize a flaw in my logic, 
especially after she has tried to parse a handful of these navigational 
plans and seen how they go wrong (e.g.  "I know we are at the right bus 
stop, getting on the right bus-line, but are we going in the right 
*direction*?")

When I get a lot of head-nodding, uh-huhs, this degenerates to A) Buy In 
but not B) Helpful Criticism.   If (when) she might ask me "but are we 
going the right *direction*?) that criticism is acutely useful, even if 
my answer is a convicted (and hopefully correct) "yes we are!".   I have 
traveled previously with people who were more intrinsically 
disagreeable, and to the extent that *they* raise their contribution at 
the same rate they raise their *disagreement*, I much appreciate it.

I believe that one can often be a convincing *critic* without actually 
parsing the *semantics* of the situation, just looking for *syntactic* 
errors or anomalies to poke at.   I find the latter rather unhelpful.  
Many popular media critics seem to do more of the latter than the former.

On 5/17/22 3:41 PM, Jon Zingale wrote:
> Glen writes: """
> Nick likes to say he's grateful for anyone who reads his writing. But
> the actual good faith action is to criticize it. Reading it is like
> nodding politely with the occasional "ah", "yes", "uh-huh" while
> someone tells you their boring story. Engagement is the real
> objective. Reading is a mere means to that end. And disagreement is
> demonstrative engagement.
> """
>
> I apologize for disagreeing and reading past the text in places. When I
> think about *reading* awkward social situations or divvying up grocery
> store tasks with my partner, disagreement is not always my preferred form
> of demonstrative engagement. Sometimes it is pleasant to offload some
> of the implementation details to a "group thought" compiler.
>
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