[FRIAM] death

[Frank Wimberly]

Another thing that helps me with Friam disagreements is to think in terms
of "both-and" rather than "either-or".  In Fiddler on the Roof, Tevya says
to A, "you're right".  B objects and Tevya says again, "You're right".  C
says that they can't both be right and Tevya says, "You're also right".

Frank

Frank Wimberly
Phone (505) 670-9918

On Nov 2, 2017 12:31 PM, "gⅼеɳ ☣" <gepropella at gmail.com> wrote:

> Awesome!  I appreciate the link, though reading my DSM V entry on BPD
> muddies my water. 8^)  From your words and those of the link (Mahari), I
> can't help but think about patterns of sensory stimuli, as opposed to
> "objects", per se.  While I completely reject the imputing of object-hood
> onto the repeating patterns, I do *not* reject the idea that those who have
> trouble inducing patterns from their experiences would have trouble
> developing appropriate to their environment.
>
> In other words, I would reword what you say to something like "... when
> the familiar patterns of stimulus are not present."  I think it's useful to
> reword it that way because it would allow similar reactions to, e.g. a
> loved one's traumatic brain injury, where their personality changes in a
> fundamental way.  Although not that similar, I'm reminded of Shannon
> Allen's testimony in the Bowe Bergdahl trial:
>
> > "Instead of being his wife, I‘m his caregiver," Reuters reported she
> testified. "Which doesn’t mean I love him any less, but it’s a very
> different dynamic. We can’t even hold hands anymore without me prying open
> his hand and putting mine in."
>
> If we could abandon or soften this silly atomicity fiction, we might get a
> better handle on subtle dynamics like that.
>
> On 11/02/2017 11:16 AM, Frank Wimberly wrote:
> > Hmm.  In my own words: perhaps you've known people who "fall to pieces"
> when the object of their attachment isn't present.  This often causes that
> "object" to flee.  Think of boy-girl relationships in adolescence which
> sometimes are messed up because of the imprint of the past.
> >
> > Frank
> >
> > Frank Wimberly
> > Phone (505) 670-9918
> >
> > On Nov 2, 2017 12:09 PM, "Frank Wimberly" <wimberly3 at gmail.com <mailto:
> wimberly3 at gmail.com>> wrote:
> >
> >     Lack of object constancy after childhood is definitely considered to
> be symptomatic.  If you don't believe something exists unless you are
> experiencing it, including yourself, you will have a difficult time.
> >
> >     Here is a link:
> >
> >     http://borderlinepersonality.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/06/
> lack-of-object.html <http://borderlinepersonality.
> typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/06/lack-of-object.html>
>
> --
> ☣ gⅼеɳ
>
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